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Things are so up in the air and too good and too awful at the same time.

All I can say is: most schizo couple of months of my life.

And all that crap aside,  I am smitten. My faith in people has been renewed.  :) Well, not people in general. More like my faith that I still have the ability to connect with people out there in a meaningful way... does not happen too often.
I'm in trouble, I know it!

Apr. 12th, 2010

AH! A person who knows how to communicate directly and honestly!? Could this be!?

This month my faith in people has been renewed.
Time and time it has been proven to me... put positive energy out there, and good things will happen.

it is nice to know that

Butterflies DO still exist.

There is just no rhyme or reason to chemistry. It's fascinating and magical.

If nothing comes of it, at least I know it now.

Mar. 6th, 2010

I hope to be inspired soon. I need my spirit back.


Stephanie Tanner: a woman ahead of her times


I hate that those huge fucking 80s glasses that actually make people look like they might be mentally challenged are back in style. Taking ironic fashion a little too far. Trying way too hard.

Pls leave Sally Jesse Raphael in the past. She is there to remind us of how bad things can get. I don't want a scary flashback of my mom from my childhood every time I order my latte. Thank you.
I thought the act of tearing other people down in order to feel better about yourself ended around 8th grade.

More and more lately I've realized that the true judge of a person's character is not in how great they are when the going is good. Or even their actions alone (mistakes are inevitable and people are flawed. It would be naive to hold people up to godly expectations). It's how someone reacts to the curve-balls of life that shows their true nature.  People are completely entitled to their opinion or feelings but it's how those feelings are dealt with or conveyed that make the difference.

My peeve about myself: Too much self reflection, indecisiveness.

3 days, no sleep

Insomnia, I did not miss you.

This time, it's not emotional. I am so miserable with physical symptoms, I can't sleep. I'm so frustrated. This month is so bad that it's actually laughable. Total hell. I'm kind of in a fuck it all mood at this point. I'm not even getting panicked when my heart is skipping beats anymore. I'm just like... shrug. And I'm unable to process emotional stuff while feeling like this.

Went to some yelp event with Kelly. Free stuff! My love for living in this city and being able to walk to such events is keepin' me going big time. We had to make (read: MAKE) V-day cards for a random guest and leave it and take another. I made one from scratch and wrote a very thoughtful note inside! I scoured over my card choices on the way out, making sure I chose one that looked crafty. What did I get in return? A generic card with nothing hand written in it! How rude!

But yea.  It ain't all bad. As I said, I am actually bemused now. Is that a sign that I've totally snapped or that I'm back on track?

I still need some kind of relief. Badly.

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May 2010


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